You can always opt out

In July 2009 I hit a wall to do with work, life and my whole existence really….I literally wanted to run away and join the circus or go be a hermit in the mountains somewhere. It wasn’t long after that that I had a really weird dream. It was all fantasy but it came with a clear message too which was like a slap in the face for me at the time.

In the dream…

I find myself walking along a path that turns into a strand on a massive golden spider web. I’m standing on it and because the web is so big I’m able to walk along it like a footpath and not get tangled up in the other strands. I desperately want to get off because being a spider web I know there’s a massive spider on it somewhere slowly coming towards me (and I’m very scared of spiders in my dreams and in real life). But I can’t get off because I’m afraid that in my attempt to climb off I’ll get caught up in the other strands of the web and get stuck. So the only thing I can think to do it to just let myself fall off.

I fall through the air, fall through a tree and collect a beehive on the way down. I hit the ground and when I awake the bees have swarmed all over my body and are buzzing angrily although not yet stinging me. Any big movements I make to get up or yell for help upsets them and they start to sting me…so I’m essentially paralysed unless I want to get stung. I see my family off in the distance and start yelling faintly out to them trying to keep very still so as not to upset the bees. Its an odd feeling trying to yell out for help through lips that are only just parted.

My family can’t yet see me but I can see them looking for me. As I lie there on the ground something insect like tries to crawl into my ear because it has something to tell me. At this point I really panic as I’m convinced its a spider trying to get in my ear. On one hand I know its trying to tell me something, and due to its small size it has a small voice which is why its trying to get into my ear (so that I could hear it)….but on the other hand I’m freaking out. So I put my fingers in my ears to prevent it getting in. Moving however gets the bees angry and so they start to sting me. After what felt like hours of silent internal screaming, my family sees me and comes over to save me. They pick me up and instantly I know everything will be OK and that my ordeal is over. However, Dad says “These stings will stay with you, and every year they’ll flare up and attract bees”.

That’s when I woke up. And I immediate knew what the message behind it was – no idea how…just a gut feeling. It was telling me that “Yes my current path is scary and yes I could drop off it if I wanted to (after all I have free will) and my family will save me and I’ll live a happy enough life. But I’ll always regret it and it will continue to bother me on some level for the rest of my life. But….the path I’m on is also a golden one and if I choose to stay on it, it may be a scary journey in parts but its also a magical and an amazing one…literally a golden path.”

And so over the next few months I stewed – do I throw it all in or do I keep going.

I decided to keep going. And my life since then has indeed been a scary but magical journey and I’m glad I’ve chosen this path.

Welcome to my world

A couple of years ago I had an amazing experience that left me wondering “Am I psychic or just going crazy?” So I started blogging about my experiences in the hopes of sharing knowledge with others who are also going through the same thing.

Gosh – where to start??  If someone had told me 2 years ago that I’d be doing this – a blog about my journeys, and that I would be very much into crystal healing and energy work I would have laughed, rolled my eyes and left it at that. Two years ago I was working for the Government as a multimedia developer and studying acting part time.  The job had turned from something I loved into something that was making me physically ill.  But the acting was something I’d always wanted to do and I was loving it.  I still do. 

So why start a blog?  Well…recently I experienced a day filled with A LOT of coincidences/messages from the powers that be and a culmination of a lot of little things that I shared with some close friends.  One of them suggested I put this sort of stuff in a blog and now that I have a bit of time I can!

Over the last year I’ve been getting a lot of odd things happening – either people saying certain things to me or I’ve noticed certain objects/words around the place more than normal.  And its had me thinking for some time now that I’d love to be able to help people with energy healing/crystal healing – but because I don’t consider myself any good at it, when ever the healing idea came to me I’d squash it and just ignore it almost.  I can’t really explain it – on the one hand I noticed these events but on the other hand I didn’t….i just thought ‘yeah whatever…’.  A bit like being told to do something by your parents but you don’t want to.  You hear/see it but you don’t.

And on top of all that my house isn’t suitable to have a dedicated room to do this stuff in- atleast in the way I’d like to be able to do it.  But recently I had a overwhelming idea hit me that was accompanied by a really big buzz in my body too – and it was to be a mobile therapist.  When I visited my family during the day and started talking about the idea they pretty much laughed in my face and brought up all the negatives of doing any mobile service(ie self endangerment etc) let alone crazy hippie stuff….so that made me feel a bit silly and I thought who am I kidding – trying to do this stuff is a crock.

So later that night I drew some cards and in the process of doing a 3 card spread 1 fell out – a phoenix (enough said), and the other 3 were basically : angels watch over you to ensure success; you’ve been chosen to be a spiritual warrior and you need to have courage/ don’t sell yourself short when it comes to your intuition; and thirdly – you’ve become lazy but don’t underestimate yourself.  I’m a master of procrastination so the last card didn’t suprise me:) And although I thought  “oh how nice to have that upper level support”, I was still thinking “but seriously I don’t know what I’m doing so no point”.

Later that night I meditated using my new lepidolite crystal and I had an amazing experience….basically a heavenly being came into me/very close that he seemed to surround me cause of his size (he was very big and in a pale yellow golden light) and basically said ‘see you can do this stuff’ although he did say it in a nice way.  And he said that I was an earth angel and that my wings were real (I had heard some one say ‘the wings are real’ many years ago when I first started having experiences so it was a suprise to hear it again – I’ll write about that in another blog).  And he said that my best way of helping others when I am a mobile therapist is to bring out my wings and embrace my angel side and its through that aspect I can channel healing. Gulp!…  ahhh I mean…  WOW!

That night/morning I woke up but it was still dark so I tried to go back to sleep but then  the dog woke up and wanted to go to the toilet so I had to get up to let her out and noticed the time was 4:44 am.  I thought to myself as I jumped back into bed that I must remember to check out that number on the internet the next day….and just as I was falling asleep something fell down causing me and the dog to fly from the room thinking we had intruders in the house only to find that some things had fallen over.  So since I was now WIDE awake I looked up 444 on the net and lo and behold it was ‘your on your path and your surrounded by angels’.

So it seemed to me to be a bit of a day of some mental slapping from the spirit world as I’ve been feeling very lost and unsure of my next steps – just treading water so to speak… but I’ve always had faith that the universe provides because my entire work history has been one co-incidence after another.  Something has always happened to me that has sent me off into a career…usually at the point where I’ve given up hope.  That will be a story for another blog post.

Its been a strange old world of late and now I am beginning to see the little hints and coincidences that the other side send through on a more regular basis. We ask questions and expect answers rather quickly.  I’ve learnt that that’s not how it works. The other sides idea of time is different to ours. We like to have/know things NOW but that’s not how angels/guides/etc work.  “Soon” for me means within the next couple of weeks maybe months at worst….but I’ve learnt that “soon” to the otherside means like 3 – 5 years of my time.  Or atleast thats been my experience.